In a stunning revelation that will shake the very fabric of motorsport, Mercedes has declared its allegiance with time travel. However, before you get too excited, their version appears to exclusively enable half-second jumps back in time, and only while navigating a trio of devilish bends at the Jeddah Corniche Circuit. Team principal Toto Wolff, known for his understated charm, commented, “today was not a good day for us” following a race where Lewis Hamilton played hide and seek with the points, coming in ninth, while George Russell managed a slightly more heroic sixth.

In the high-octane world of Formula 1, where the cars are fast and the lights are plentiful, Sergio Perez seems to be engaging in a bit of a playground game, albeit with higher stakes. Fresh from his latest escapade at the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, our man Sergio finds himself a mere stone’s throw away from a race ban, collecting penalty points like they’re going out of fashion. The stewards, after donning their finest detective hats and scrutinizing the footage with all the intensity of a cat watching a laser pointer, found Perez guilty of what is essentially being a bit too eager to leave his pit box.

The sun beating down on the tarmac, the smell of high-octane fuel in the air, and the sound of Formula 1 cars lining up on the grid. It’s the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, and if you slept through the race but just tuned in hoping for some semblance of the word “competition”, then you might as well stop reading now. Max and Checho, 1-2 finish. Sergio Perez, despite being slapped with a five-second penalty for nearly sending Fernando Alonso into next week with an unsafe release, managed to keep his cool and the Ferrari of Charles Leclerc at bay.

There’s a new character knocking at the door, a big shot from across the pond, Andretti, waving architectural plans and dreams of grandeur, essentially shouting, “Let me in, I’ve got a plan and a shovel!” Despite the FIA playing hard to get since January 31, rejecting their love letters for an F1 entry, Andretti has done the motorsport equivalent of buying a ring before the first date. They’ve gone and flashed images of what could soon be a grand American base for their would-be F1 love affair.

Opening Scene: a vacant throne at Mercedes beckoning the bravest knights from across the realm. As the dust settles on Lewis Hamilton’s shock pivot to Ferrari (imagine swapping silver for red, bold move, Lewis), the Silver Arrow squad finds itself playing musical chairs for the 2025 season. Amidst the whispers and speculation, one name wafts through the paddock like the tantalizing aroma of a well-prepared sauna – Valtteri Bottas. Our blonde-maned, posterior-showcasing Finn hasn’t exactly been twiddling his thumbs since his 2021 Mercedes adieu.

In the world of Formula 1, loyalty is as fleeting as the latest tyre trend, yet Max Verstappen, the wunderkind of Red Bull Racing, has declared his allegiance to the energy drink empire with a fervor that could only be matched by a teenager professing love for the first time. Amid a swirling vortex of rumours, speculation, and the occasional espionage worthy of a James Bond subplot, Verstappen has firmly squashed any insinuations that he might be eyeing up Mercedes as his next high-speed steed.

Picture this: Alpine F1, a team so spectacularly underwhelming this Formula 1 season that their performance at the Bahrain Grand Prix sent shockwaves of absolutely no surprise whatsoever across the motorsport world. Why? Because their tech leadership, in a plot twist seen from miles away, decided to abandon ship faster than rats on the Titanic. Techno maestros Matt Harman and Dirk De Beer bid their adieus even before the tires melted in Bahrain’s scorching humiliation.

In a dramatic turn of events that left Charles Leclerc doing more pedal dancing than a teenager at a disco, the Monegasque maestro’s hopes for a champagne-soaked podium were scuttled by persistently pesky brakes at the season’s inaugural race. Leclerc’s partner in prancing horse power, Carlos Sainz Jr., also had a brief flirtation with similar brake blues during his opening act, but it was more of a fleeting glance than the lingering gaze of disaster that befell Leclerc.