How do you deal with close personal friends pretending like they don’t know you? I have a tough time reconciling how they can go from completely normal to near-raging lunatic in seconds, committing to the bit of having no idea who I am. This is what my close friend Michael Masi did when I was inside his house in Australia. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!” he shot at me. “Fuck off, mate, or I’m calling the cops.”
My attempt to explain to Michael that we knew each other from the telly did nothing to allay his skepticism. With renewed vigor, he took a step towards me and pointed at the door. “Can I at least leave these questions with you?” I handed him my printout of questions that fell onto the tiled floor because he didn’t take it. I never received a response to those questions, but I will tell you how Michael would have answered them, knowing him as long, and as well as I do.
Q: What did you think of the way the 2026 British GP finished?
A: They don’t understand what a motor race is, do they? Complete morons. The purpose of spending millions of dollars, securing broadcast rights, and turning a race into a music festival, as they do in Singapore, is ultimately to provide value to spectators. Spectators deserve spectacle. They don’t care about regulations; they just want to be entertained. Did they do that in Silverstone? Absolutely not.
Q: Would you reconsider coming back to the FIA as Race Director?
A: No. My time helping the FIA is over. I was arguably the best Race Director of all time. I was able to push what was important to fans. Spectacle. I refused to follow the rules in Abu Dhabi 2021 because, first, as Race Director, the rules were mine to make or break. Second, I could feel the fans. The entire year they sat there, drooling, expecting bloodsport, a crash, someone to get maimed. They loved it when Hamilton yeeted Verstappen into the shadow realm at Copse, and then refused to check in on him later. I knew what the mouth-breathers wanted. Despite the virus and the weaker races getting cancelled, I ushered in a new era in spectatorship. I delivered. That time is now over.
Q: How can Mohammed Bin Sulayem improve Formula 1?
A: Quit. Now. Do it fast, like ripping off a band-aid. The man exists to insert himself into every photo-op, driver interview, or award-giving. He even drove one of those idiot Lego cars. Wouldn’t be surprised if he set it all up because it was the only way he was going to drive Silverstone.
Q: Do you have any words for the fans?
A: Grow some balls. Stop hiding behind what you really want. Stop doing dumb analyses using Claude or ChatGPT and flogging it off as your own work. Do you KNOW how many highly paid, incredibly smart people the teams hire? Do you think the teams are all waiting to read your X post on how to get that last tenth thanks to your clanker-driven sleuthing? Admit you know nothing, admit you just want spectacle, admit you want a crash every race, and admit that you don’t care about the race. That is the best thing you can do as a fan.